i took a break today. everyone deserves one dunt they?! however, the impending workload scares me. deadline is on friday morning and tuesday is nearly over. Went for dear old boon keng's wedding today. its nice to see him smile that geek smile. all over again. nice to see him married. getting married looks so simple.
On retrospect, the trauma drama that it brings along with it is scary. Laying your life on the hands of a stranger (no matter how well u know him, i dun think u can really fully know someone) and wearing your heart on ur sleeve is a vulnerable process. i hate that vulnerability. I hate it when someone else has the power to control the way i feel. I hate the way sometimes fear controls me. I hate the way i could be skeptical of my own ability.
when im nt having a hair splitting moment, or not feelin annoyed with how weak i am, i think about you. I think about hearing ur voice on the other end of the line or what you would be doin at that very exact moment. I think about how u wld cope being thrown into the jungle. I pray for God to give you the strength and cross my fingers for ur safety. I think abt how they should allow company for field camps to be up to the individual's discretion. I would volunteer to sit by you, in the jungle, snakes or no snakes. No doubt ill complain abt mosquitos, the heat, the lack of powerpoints to plug in my hairdryer or scream everytime i see a cockroach. but if i could, i would sit by you, hold u and not let u go thru it by urself. I'm counting down the days that u'll be back ;)
So terribly pissed when i cldnt get reception..i tot M1 offered island-wide mobile coverage..bullshit..it cldnt reach lim chu kang jungles!!! still can charge me 100 bucks. basketized!!
and so her story is told@ 3:55 AM
